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The Hoodie of the Jungle

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Oli C
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Join date : 2011-11-10

PostSubject: The Hoodie of the Jungle Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:20 am

If the lion is the King of the Jungle then there is one animal that surely must take the crown of the Adolescent Hoodie. One animal that strikes fear into the hearts of all others when they spot it casually strutting along the Serengeti looking for trouble. One animal there is no reasoning with. One animal that simply doesn't care. One animal that is simply asking for a bit of respeckt, innit? One animal that not only excels in it's insanity but positively revels in it. One animal that can only be described as badass mammajamma.

It isn't the wily Leopard. It isn't the thirsty Hippopotamus. It isn't even a seriously pissed off Elephant. No; this little ball of furry ferocity is the little deceptively named 30 lb Honey Badger.

You have to wonder whether whoever named this animal the Honey Badger was being deliberately ironic for there is nothing sweet in the temperament of this maniacal ball of fury. This animal is no extra from a Beatrix Potter novel. If it ever stumbled across Brer Rabbit it probably would have ripped his throat out just for the sheer hell of it. In fact, for the benefit of the unwise and thus unwary, the true reason for it's moniker is it's tendancy to enjoy passing the time by raiding the honey stores of African Killer Bees.

And it doesn't stop there.

There is recorded evidence of sleeping Honey Badgers being mistakenly awoken by, say, a Pride of Lions, and managing to kill two of them by tearing their testicles off before chasing off their horrified companions. On one occasion an observer saw seven lions abandon the wildebeest kill that they were eating when three honey badgers approached. The badgers then took their share of the carcass before the lions nervously returned to their kill several hours later. There are other reports that honey badgers have attacked animals as large as sheep, horses, buffaloes, wildebeest, cobras and waterbuck. And don't think you're safe just because you're human because the Honey Badger really doesn't care what species you are as several castrated African tribesmen will no doubt bear testament to.

This is an animal that even Death itself is afraid of.

So if you're ever in the Kruger, and you see a cute little cuddly ball of fluff, cover your scrotum and run. Run as fast as you can and pray the little bastard hasn't spotted you.

Coz Honey Badger is one animal that really doesn't give a shit.

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